I'm only fifteen
Innocent and blind
I trust my elders,
To be honest to me - and kind.

My friend Peter,
He's the same as me,
He plays football
And watches colour - T.V.

I've got a vicar's hand in my underpants,
A vicar's hand and he wants romance.

There's a vicar to my left,
And a vicar to my right,
What they are doing,
Is not a pretty sight.

Their hands are cold,
Their breath is bad,
They say hold this,
There, there's a good lad

I've got a vicar's hand in my underpants,
A vicar's hand and he wants romance.

One comes so much quicker with a vicar in one's knickers.

A catholic boy,
God's no friend of mine,
Pretend to make me happy,
With your bread and wine.

Bless me father,
For I have sinned,
A vicar in my knickers
Is it a mortal sin?

I've got a vicar's hand in my underpants,
A vicar's hand and he wants romance.
Bless you my son.

© Edward ian Armchair 2002