Bus driver, taxi driver, part-time scuba diver,
Newsagent, secret agent, bald insurance agent.
If I had my way, you'd be dead today.
A bullet in your head and you'd be blown away.

If I had my way, if I had my way,
If I had my way, if I had my way,
If I had my way - a bullet in the head and you'd be blown away.

Prostitutes and destitutes, people wearing cowboy boots,
Conservatives, superlatives, middle class alternatives,
If I had my way, you'd be dead right now.
Slash your wrists if I could somehow.

Chorus.

Bank clerks, loan sharks, Prince Edward, Koo Stark,
Sue Lawley, Roger Daltrey, Terry Wogan, Jimmy Logan,
If I had my way, I'd switch you off.
Get your hands off my Kalashnikov!

Chorus.

Bus driver, taxi driver, part-time scuba diver,
Newsagent, secret agent, bald insurance agent.
If I had my way, you'd be dead today.
A bullet in my head someday.

© Edward ian Armchair 2002